In AON: Communication

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Milan and Kay Yerkovich have coauthored the books How We Love and How We Love Our Kids. Kay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as a popular speaker and lecturer in the areas of parenting and marriage relationships. She also supervises and trains other therapists. Milan is an ordained minister and pastoral counselor, who has worked with families and couples for over thirty years. He is the full-time director of Relationship180, a non-profit organization devoted to counseling individuals and families toward healthy relationships, and he also works as a radio co-host at New Life Ministries. Milan and Kay have been married for 43 years, and have four children and five grandchildren.

“We are more aware of negative things that trigger our partner and more open to seeing from each other’s point of view. We learned how to listen to each other, relate to how the other is feeling, and understand what they are trying to communicate.”

Willie & Courtney Watkins – Premium Members

Inside the Lesson

In this episode, Milan and Kay Yerkovich—experts in the field of parenting and marriage and authors of How We Love and How We Love Our Kids—discuss how each married couple must deal with the negative emotions and behaviors learned during childhood. If you or your spouse experienced a less-than-ideal childhood, you probably experience much difficulty in connecting on a deep emotional level. Many abused or neglected children reject vulnerability in relationships as adults and instead turn to isolationism, anger, pouting, and addiction to get what they want. Milan and Kay Yerkovich describe the five personality types of adults who had negative childhoods—The Avoider, The Pleaser, The Vacillator, The Controller, and The Victim—and encourage every couple to identify one or more that may be affecting their marriage. One way couples can begin to build healthy lines of communication is by creating a Comfort Circle, in which they (1) are self-aware, (2) speak out and engage, (3) listen and find out more, and (4) resolve the issue. These steps create a safe space for couples to embrace their unique love styles and grow their emotional connection.

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