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Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil—known simply as Dr. Bonnie—is a well-known relationship therapist with a practice in New York. Psychology Today called her one of America’s best therapists. She has appeared on The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, The View, and Good Morning America, and has been featured in publications such as USA Today, The New York Times, and Cosmopolitan. She has authored several popular books about relationships including Make Up, Don’t Break Up; Adultery: The Forgivable Sin; and Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker.
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Inside the Lesson
In this episode, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, well-known relationship therapist and author of Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker, investigates what she considers the number one way to destroy any marriage: cheat with money. Shockingly, 40% of people lie about their purchases, and another 82% hide their purchases from their spouses. Many people replace their longing for parental love or a lack of money from their childhood with an unhealthy view of money in adulthood. In fact, financial infidelity is so subtle and subversive that, in many cases, it can be as damaging and destructive as sexual infidelity.
Handling money creates a complex and dynamic power struggle among couples, partly due to its inherent power but also due to the way we were raised to deal with money. Dr. Bonnie offers the following seven steps for couples to move past financial infidelity: (1) calculating the cost, (2) investigating the power dynamic, (3) unpacking inherited money behavior, (4) breaking up with your money, (5) letting go of greed and envy, (6) refinancing your relationship, and (7) investing in your future. Make your financial relationship with your spouse a priority, and, with understanding and kindness, walk together towards financial peace.
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