In Infidelity

By Noel Meador, Executive Director

In the past couple of weeks, our nation has experienced the pain of sexual addiction and the aftermath when we turn a blind eye to this difficult topic. Much of the conversation has centered on how many pastors have been exposed, how to find out if you are on the list, and Josh Duggar and his continued calamity. Unfortunately, little has been discussed about the root cause of this epidemic problem.

Every second $3,076.00 is spent on pornography; 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography; 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines; and every 39 minutes, a new pornographic video is made in the United States. The numbers tell only part of the story. The answer is not banning sites like Ashley Madison, but rather dealing with the issues of the heart. Don’t get me wrong — I’d love to see Ashley Madison disappear from the web –but that won’t solve the problem. If we want to change destructive behaviors and emotions, we must change hearts.

In a recent interview with Michael Dye, I had a chance to learn from a man who has walked with thousands of addicts through the process of recovery. I’ve posted the video above, but here is a quick summary of the interview as well.

“The Limbic System (the heart) is negatively programmed through painful experiences with people we trusted, especially in our formative years. Not trusting or being able to bond with others leads to fear, anxiety, loneliness, isolation and self-gratification. Since the heart is negatively programmed through hurtful experiences with others, it must be healed through opposite experiences. When we can’t get our needs met from others, we have to learn to self-gratify. All addiction is self-gratification. This is why recovery that heals what drives self-destructive behaviors is a process of learning to trust again. The process of trust that heals our heart usually begins with God and then people.” Michael Dye

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